The Day

Seeing you smile while you talk,

Hearing your laugh over a small joke,

How do I know that you are in pain?

You give me a wise advice,

You offer me a warm hug,

How do I know that you are suffering?

I always get your attention but

I never try to get interested in you.

What should I do now when you sigh like that?

What should I do to make those eyes shine mischievously again?

The day when I realize the answer,

it is the day when my here and your here are miles apart.


A Night to Remember

It is coming

Crawling and creeping

Spreading its wings

Into the room, blinding.

Behind the blanket I think

“if I close my eyes, it will disappear.

It’s just a fear.”

But I still can feel it coming

Sliding between my feet

Covering me up till I get weak.

I can hear it screams

Loudly on my ears.

Humming doesn’t ease the shriek

Singing doesn’t stop its bleak.

It eats me.



Maybe opening my eyes will make it cease.

I count to three…


I see

it’s there smiling,

Showing its sharp teeth,


“wherever you go, I’ll be here.

Crushing everything you hold dear

What’s left is you, crying

And nothing.”

A Long Road

One fine day, a white Rabbit met a brown Horse in a clearing of a jungle. The Rabbit who saw him first greeted the Horse.

Rabbit, “Hey Horse! What are you doing in this part of clearing? It’s far away from your home, isn’t it?”

Horse, “Hi Rabbit. I was from Mr. Piggy’s house to deliver two stacks of hay.”

Rabbit, “Oh… But, you can take a shortcut from your house to Mr. Piggy’s so why did you take this road?”

Horse, “I did actually take the shortcut when I went to his house in the morning. However, I always go down the hill to this clearing every time I have an order from that village. It has become my routine.”

Rabbit, “Oh, I see… But, aren’t you tired walking for eight miles from the village to your house? If I were you, I would be exhausted by the time I reached four miles of walking.”

Horse, “At first, I felt completely exhausted too. However, I become used to the long walk. I especially like to take this road on my way home because I can enjoy the trees, flowers, and this clearing. The view can make my body instantly fresh. That’s why I rather choose this road, walk slowly, and sometimes stop at the clearing to enjoy the view and fresh air.”

Rabbit, “You’re right. This part of the woods is beautiful but I still will take the shortcut everytime I go somewhere.”

Draft 1.0


Genesis 3-4


When I was learning critical theory, my lecturer showed me the quotation of Genesis 4 (it’s on the bottom right part of this photo). I forget which session it was told but I still remember his words. He says knowledge fruit and the verb know both refer to sex which means God forbids them to have sex in His house AND sex is an act that can make you know the “good and evil” in this world. Here, he blends it with our world in which our parents’ house is the Eden (God’s house). Well, in most cases, Indonesian parents still think sex is a taboo act which can be done only between husband and wife. Thus, many parents kick out their children who conduct that act or push them to marry the respective partner.

However, because knowledge is a powerful thing that has good and evil in one package, unmarried men and women know that they can’t do that in their houses. So, they find another place where sex is permitted. Either they have read the Bible or Al-Quran, they understand that parents’ house is the Eden. Who doesn’t want to live in the Eden by the way? Everything is available without much effort from us to get it.

Nevertheless, I have two disagreement with the way most Indonesian parents and people think about sex:

  1. Sex isn’t taboo. In fact, parents have to educate their children about sex. Not to tell them that it’s taboo but to share with them in a logical way. Indonesian people need to realize about that but don’t get too proud as well by announcing it to the world. It’s called narcissism not open-minded.
  2. People shouldn’t hide that they already have sex from everyone, especially parents, just because you don’t want to be kicked out or outcast by them. I mean, God indeed says that if you already have sex then you are, whether you like it or not, someone who already has a knowledge. Therefore, you need to grow up and build your own house (path) away from your parents. don’t depend on them. But, you have to make note that this situation can be different in some cases.

This writing is only a draft for my future essay about Marriage in which I will discuss it according to Islam, Christian, and Catholic and relate them with Indonesian culture (because I live in Indonesia). I hope there’s someone who will be interested in giving their opinion about this so that my essay will have many references.

Best regards,

[SOON] Marriage: between Norm, Obligation, and Freedom

Either on a novel, a film, or a game, marriage always existsas a form of the unity of two people who love each other. Yet, if marriage is indeed aboutthe unity of love, why do they need to be married? We can just live together with our partners without marrying each other, can’t we? So, why there is a need to be married? In this peace of electronic writing, I will discuss about marriage and its entailment with norm and religion, especially in Islam. [to be continued]